bodldops: (Sarah Jane Smith)
[personal profile] bodldops
IDEK where this came from. Maybe I'll post it on a fic site later.

Apologies for all Brit!speak mistakes and Avengers!mistakes.


The call came in at 6pm on a Wednesday, which was odd, because practically every evil-doer out there knew that severe and swift retribution came for interrupting movie night. It's said that Magneto still suffers horrible flash-backs when anyone mentions 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. But still, someone (or rather, it sounds like, a large group of someones) are looking to level a bit of New York City, so they were treated to the distinct displeasure of Fury's not-so-dulcet tones over the speakers and an interruption of movie night.

Someone, Tony has already decided, is going to pay for this in spades.

"What's it look like, buddy?" Around him his armor snaps into place, the faceplate closing him off from the outside world last. JARVIS already has the HUD running and ready with known tactical data. The world falls away with a blast of repulsors.

"There appears to be an energy shield surrounding the area in question, in a radius of a half mile. Estimated 34% chance of breach if full armaments are used. Invaders appear to be extraterrestrial, sir." Tony raises an eyebrow, knowing his AI will see it.

"Are we making guesses now?"

"Hardly, sir. From the footage available from civilian sources, the invaders do not match any known Earth-based physiology." JARVIS' rebuke is delightfully dry in his ears, and he once again realizes that yes, he's has the best AI ever. He can see the barrier now, sparkling silver-white in the afternoon sunlight.

"Capsicle, you seeing this? We're going to need a little air support, I think." He calls, pulling up short of actually hitting the barrier - there's no reason to give Hulk more reason to be smug no matter how much the jolly green giant likes to play catch, and Pepper would give him hell for it. Nearby he spots Thor perched at the top of the Empire State building, primed to do his thunder god thing. The general consensus from the ground is that whatever's causing this also managed to screw up air traffic control for nearly half the Eastern Seaboard - it's going to be a while before anything coordinated can get into the air. They're forming a not-quite-genius plan involving throwing everything Tony and Thor have at it all at once and hoping that there isn't a second layer when there's an interruption.

"Sir?" JARVIS sounds vaguely stunned, and Tony has learned that's not a very good sound, coming from the AI.

"Yeah, what? Don't tell me Dummy has decorated the lab with smoothies, my nerves are delicate." He answers absent-mindedly while he works out trajectories and theoretical weak spots.

"Sir, you need to see this." Without further discussion part of his HUD blanks out, quickly replaced by the shaky feed from someone's cameraphone. Someone is recording footage right now, inside that blocked-off zone, and they're either immensely stupid or immensely terrified because they're way too close to the creatures milling in the center of a major intersection. And JARVIS is right - those things either aren't from Earth, or HP Lovecraft is owed a huge apology. But that isn't the thing JARVIS wanted him to see.

What is, is the fact there's a thirties-something woman in jeans and a leather jacket marching herself towards those creatures with clear intent.

"JARVIS, you send this on to the Cap." Tony orders, "What the hell does she think she's doing?"

The audio on the video feed isn't very good, but still somehow manages to capture the tone of aggrieved outrage that comes next.

"OI! I'm supposed t'be on holiday here, can't you lot give it a rest for one bloody week?" Now Tony has more information - she's brave, British, and undeniably delusional. The last alien invasion was last month. The creature garbles something that makes the audio crackle.

"Ask me how much it is that I don't care. An' I'm sorry you missed the memo, but that's also not goin' to happen. An' this is the part where I'm supposed t'insult your homeworld in return, but that's a fairly rubbish plan, considerin' I can't really expand on the truth of how horrid it is."

There's another roaring, partially fuzzed-out reply, during which he relays what's going on to Thor (he's tried getting the man a decent comlink, but they keep shorting out).

"You seriously don't know. Well, you remember that Dalek patrol, 'bout three of our years back? Disappeared, bits washed up on the solar tides near the borders of the Laxinis triad?" There's a faint grumble in reply, and the woman raises her hand, wiggling her fingers in a sort of bizarrely cheerful wave.

The response is as dramatic as it is unexpected. The creatures actually huddle closer together, farther away from the crazy woman.

What the hell's a Dalek, anyway?

"Yeah. I know you've heard the rumors, an' I'm not him, given, but I'm next best. An' it's a pretty brilliant second, even if I am sayin' it m'self." She steps closer, herding them back towards what he assumes is their ship (but really it just looks like something that is doing its damnedest to break all the rules of reality all at once). "So I'm goin' t'make this easy. You're goin' to..." The audio doesn't cut out, he knows it doesn't because he can still here other noises - people crying, the frightened breathing of whoever's taking the video - but the woman is too far away and speaking too quietly for the little phone to pick it up.

He makes a mental note to make the microphones better on the next Starkphone.

Suddenly the creatures are just gone, leaving the woman standing alone and straight in the middle of the road, her hands in her pockets. The energy barrier snaps and fades away a second later, but by the time he has made it to her location, the woman has vanished.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-07-16 09:30 pm (UTC)
ceitfianna: (disney maid marian fangirl)
From: [personal profile] ceitfianna
This is genius. I love all the little touches and Ace being Ace.

Oh and I've been following Doc and Katya, she should write a manual or something and then sit down and lecture the humans on how not to die.

I'm fairly certain Olga would approve and Doc and William are well trained enough that they'd stay still, others not as certain.

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