More Memes and Hospital Chat

[bodldops]

You Know You're From California When...

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway. You know it's early morning when you can drive down 101 at 10mph and consider it making good time. You were born somewhere else. You know how to eat an artichoke. There's the traditional way, steamed with a lot of mayo... then there's the pan-roasted way with lemon... The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic. No real live bugs here besides the ants, and those are very killable. Some silverfish and cockroaches, but you have to be reaaaaaaally looking to find them. Your car has bullet-proof windows. Left is right and right is wrong. The one thing I truly do hate about this state. Dear lord no, can't be conservative and still be reasonable! *sporksporkspork* Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income. Landlords are nuts. This is why I live with my folks. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it. You drive to your neighborhood block party. Your family tree contains "significant others." You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them. You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance. Not literally, but figuratively on daytime TV. Two out of three ads are for injury lawyers. *snickers* More than clothes come out of the closets. There are way too many closet jokes. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach. Duh! The salon can put on a professional sunless tan that won't put you at risk for skin cancer. More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers. Smoking in your office is not optional. I think that's supposed to say 'not-smoking'. Everyone who still smokes at work has to do it in this little area outside. Even if it's raining. Nasssssty cigarette smoke. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach. That's because you can go skiing on Memorial Day (when it's warm), and the Pacific is kept at a steady temperature of just above freezing. When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch." Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks. Birkenstocks rule. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news. Yes, because they cause landslides, which dumps homes into the ocean and buries small towns. You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman. You consult your horoscope before planning your day. No, but my co-workers do. *rolls eyes* A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery. I wish! I'd reserve that port we had at dinner on vacation. Good stuff. All highways into the state say: "no fruits." 'Cause of the nasty glassy-winged sharpshooter bug, ya know. It'll wipe out Napa if it gets in. All highways out of the state say: "Go back." Yeah, 'cause Caltrans doesn't want you to know how good the roads in other states are paved. The Terminator is your governor Ah yes, Ahhhhhhnold. *mutters* Stupid animal-killing idiot. His wife's the brains of the bunch. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? It all depends on who you are. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH" Okay, maybe we're a little paranoid. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

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In other news, Robert (hospital-Robert) rocketh muchly. He brought us doughnuts, 'cause the Thursday staff rocks. And we do - the hospital looks spiffy now, all clean and shiny 'cause we got all of our wirk done early so we had time to haul out all of the junk that accumulates.
Well, we got it all done, then realized someone had put a leg wrap too tightly on a little Jack Russel Terrier, so Robert and I stayed overtime to fix that. Puppy didn't appreciate it much.

Comments

[artemis85.livejournal.com]

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"
Haha. The humidity here seems like it's rarely under seventy percent. -__-

The Terminator is your governor.
I feel sorry for you.

Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
But what are Birkenstocks? o.O

More than clothes come out of the closets.
At least you don't live in Massachusetts, like some of my relatives do.

^_^

[bodldops.livejournal.com]

Well, thibbit. We like our state on the dry side. It melts.

I feel sorry for me too. I now realize the man has no acting talent - he's like that in real life.

*shock* Only the best shoes ever!

At least they can be somewhat rational about it in Massachusetts. Our state senate is cracked. *mutter* Might have something to do about Ahhhhnold and the girly men.... */mutter*